The Unwed Cake
Armor Class 15 (natural armor)
Hit Points 95 (10d10+40)
Speed 25 ft.
Saving Throws Con +7, Wis +3
Skills Insight +3, Perception +3
Damage Vulnerabilities fire
Damage Immunities poison, psychic
Condition Immunities charmed, frightened, poisoned
Senses darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 13
Languages Common
Challenge 5 (1,800 XP) Proficiency Bonus +3
Actions
Reactions
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Please, have another slice. There is plenty to go around. The bride will be here any moment now. — frosting-script on the chapel doors
Lore & Description
Appearance
The Unwed Cake is a three-tier wedding cake standing nearly eight feet tall, its white fondant gone gray at the edges and split by deep cracks. Pink roses of crystallized sugar cling to its sides like bruises, while ribbons of hardened icing trail from its tiers like torn bridal lace. Two frosting arms emerge from the middle tier, and its top tier opens into a jagged marzipan mouth beneath a crooked sugar bride-and-groom topper. One of the figures is missing its head.
Behavior & Origins
The cake was commissioned for the wedding of Ilyra Venn and Tomas Reed at the Chapel of Saint Marzipan, but Tomas never arrived. The cake waited through the ceremony, the funeral, and twenty-three years of dust before its magic curdled into furious sentience. It now guards the empty altar, convinced that the vanished wedding vows are still hidden beneath the floorboards. The Unwed Cake can be calmed temporarily by presenting a sincere apology from someone who has abandoned a promise. A concrete hook lies beneath the chapel: a silver vow-scroll bearing the name of Tomas Reed, who is still alive and hiding in the nearby town of Bellweather.
Running The Unwed Cake
Tactics
The Unwed Cake begins by using Sugar-Splattered Vow to scatter intruders and force them toward the altar, then focuses its Marzipan Maw on anyone carrying wedding tokens. It uses its long-reaching Fondant Fists against creatures outside the frosting aura while trying to keep at least one enemy grappled. When bloodied, its Layers of Resentment bursts outward; it fights to the death if the altar is threatened, but may stop attacking anyone who offers a heartfelt apology or speaks Tomas Reed's name.
DM Tips
- Telegraph the monster with fresh frosting footprints, distant wedding music, and sugar roses that turn to face approaching characters.
- Roleplay the cake in a breathless, relentlessly polite voice that shifts into wounded sweetness whenever someone mentions leaving, betrayal, or broken promises.
- For a weaker party, reduce the cake to 75 hit points and make Sugar-Splattered Vow deal 13 (3d8) psychic damage; for a stronger party, give it a second use of Layers of Resentment.
- The creature can become a social encounter if the characters recover Tomas Reed's vow-scroll or offer a convincing apology for a promise they personally broke.
Loot
- The Missing Topper — A headless sugar bride-and-groom figurine. If reunited with its missing groom's head, it points toward Tomas Reed's current location.
- Silver Vow-Scroll — A sealed scroll hidden beneath the chapel altar, bearing Tomas Reed's signature and a confession that he fled because he had fallen in love with someone else.
- Heart of Preserved Marzipan — A fist-sized core that remains sweet despite decades of decay. Once per day, a creature can eat it to gain advantage on one Charisma check made to apologize, reconcile, or persuade someone to honor a promise.
